Table of Contents
   Introp. 1
   If He Walks like a Duck and Talks like a Duck…: Then He's a Pigp. 9
   It's a Breakup, Not Cancerp. 35
   The Third Kind of Jobp. 51
   With Friends like These…p. 73
   Drugs and Other Drugsp. 93
   17 Againp. 111
   Drinking and Tweetingp. 133
   My Favorite Threesomep. 155
   His Future Exp. 189
   I Will Survivep. 203
   A Billionaire Saved My Lifep. 217
   A New Housewifep. 235
   Acknowledgmentsp. 245