Table of Contents
   Introductionp. 1
   The Art of "Retarded" Young Menp. 5
   The Art of Hopelessly Honest Fathersp. 9
   The Art of Monkeysp. 13
   The Art of Sticksp. 15
   The Art of Wielding a Hammerp. 17
   The Art of Heroesp. 21
   The Art of Lost Lovesp. 27
   The Art of Queersp. 33
   The Art of Male Visitorsp. 37
   The Art of Being a Bridep. 43
   The Art of Tornadoesp. 57
   The Art of Wallpaperingp. 67
   The Art of Not Dyingp. 75
   The Art of Making Love to an Unfortunate Manp. 91
   The Art of Championsp. 95
   The Art of Shagging Next-Door Neighborsp. 107
   The Art of Anal Sexp. 117
   The Art of Painp. 119
   The Art of Closurep. 131
   The Art of Artp. 141
   The Art of Temptationp. 149
   The Art of Costars and Lunatic Directorsp. 159
   The Art of Cheerful Menp. 167
   The Art of Alarm Clocksp. 185
   The Art of Transcending Lovep. 191
   The Art of True Lovep. 209
   The Art of Not Being a Cuntp. 223
   The Art of Maksp. 231
   The Art of Knights on White Horsesp. 239
   The Art of Clubbing Menp. 245
   The Art of Men I Have Not Hit Onp. 253
   The Art of Young Loversp. 263
   Closing Notesp. 279
   Acknowledgmentsp. 283